No Matter What You Do, Men Are Going To Look

Have you ever noticed ladies, that, no matter how you dress or how you act, men are going to check you out? I mean, whether they be bosses, co-workers, friends, stranger, acquaintances or just plain cochinos, they are going to scope you out as much or as little as your clothing allows? Ugh.

I grew up in the Catholic/Mexican tradition that kind of espoused the idea that, if you’re an object of sexual desire, it’s shameful and it’s your fault and you should feel guilty because you’re sinful. So, guess what started happening when I began to “develop” into a woman? That’s right, buckets of shame. It wasn’t until I was older and realized that, even when I didn’t shave my legs and went out in my chores and t-shirts, men were doing the best they could to get x-rays of every possible crevice.

¡Marranos!

In exhaustion, I finally had to give up worrying about the cochinadas that men were inevitably going to commit and just focus on who I was and what I wanted to do. Much to the chagrin of some of the men I’ve dated and the larger male population (I’m sure), I’m not really a low-cut, short-skirt kind of gal. Even if I were, I can hardly blame myself for the wandering eyes of men who should know better than to blatantly stare with their tongues hanging out in public. If they refuse to follow civil society’s notions of propriety, that’s their problem.

These days, I do occasionally wear what some would consider to be a low-cut blouse, but truth be told, as I’ve gotten older I have less and less a desire to wear tight pants, dresses and shirts. Another truth be told, because I have junk in my trunk and wide hips, sometimes things that aren’t supposed to be tight fit that way anyways. The point is, I’m mature enough now to not be dressing provocatively; if a man is going to look — and trust me I catch them doing it even when they think they’re being sly — it’s not because I’m forcing them to.

And I can already hear it, that somehow the very fact that I’m writing this column is somehow suggesting that women are to blame at all for unwanted sexual attention. What I’m trying to share is that this was a difficult realization for me to come to, but now that I’ve made it, I feel free and I hope that other women can share that sentiment.

Follow Sara Inés Calderón on Twitter @SaraChicaD