For tonight’s GOP debate, let’s play presidential brackets!

*I saw someone, somewhere, post a GOP debate drinking game. It sounded hilarious, but we can’t condone that sort of shenanigans. Here’s a great alternative – think of the NCAA, the presidential debates version. Please check your state statutes to make sure betting is allowed where you live. VL

By Tomas Ricardo, Friend of NewsTaco

Hey, let’s play!  It’s sweeping the country, the 2016 Republican Presidential Nomination Sweepstakes!  Not it’s not March Madness, just Madness, unfiltered and uncut.  And we’ve shortened the contenders for you, so you don’t have to slog through 64 Presidential aspirants.  It’s just the Sweet Sixteen.  Just seed them 1-16, and fill in the bracket.  Here’s my bracket: (I actually seeded them first; the corresponding matchups, following standard bracketology, were pure serendipity, really)   And feel free to pick some upsets. (Click on the bracket to enlarge)

The game was inspired by the decidedly un-inspiring “Debate” held earlier in New Hampshire.  That’s not a debate, just free air time for preening and prancin’.  We suggest a real one-on-one debate, lasting 60 minutes, between paired, seeded players (just like Wimbledon!) with the loser going home, and the winner moving on to the next round.  Who decides the winner?  You do!  Phone lines will be open for an hour after the debate ends, and the winner will be decided by you, direct democracy, not mediated by party bosses, funded by Big Money, and brought to you party activists and assorted zealots.  Bracket winners will get bragging rights at the water cooler/favorite bar.

No, actual delegates will not be assigned, and campaigns will not be shut down.  Party caucuses, primaries, elections, and conventions will continue as scheduled.  But, I can dream.

Imagine the fun!  Can a 16^th seed (Carly) finally topple the Big One?  Oooh.  Check out 5 vs 12 seed.  Trump-Perry one-on-one for sixty minutes!  Admittedly, will not generate the intellectual firepower of Buckley- Vidal, but the one-upmanship, the insults,  slurs, finger-wagging, and lecturing would be priceless.  Then, one is treated to The Glasses v The Hair!  Need I say more?

Followed by  Cruz-Graham…two incumbent U.S. Senators from the same side of the aisle, but polar opposites when it comes to civility and good manners, and have famously not played well together.  Rubio-Jindal is a reminder of the American Dream…from immigrant families these two contenders would offer all Americans a choice:  Cuba or India?

The fun continues into the second round.  Imagine Trump v Cruz.  The honed debating skills of the young upstart are legend: few can preach, demagogue, orate, pontificate, obfuscate, equivocate, and bloviate while actually engaged in debate.  On the other side is the upstage rogue politico who proudly states he “means what he says, and says what he means”, no matter how ridiculous, insulting, offensive, and misinformed.  I will stand in line to get into that debate.

What’s the schedule, format, one might inquire?  Easy.  Schedule two debates each for the opening weekend, Thursday thru Sunday.  For the Elite Eight, a debate each day over the weekend would be riveting, with winners moving on to the Final Four!  March Madness has already demonstrated that the Final Four weekend is among the most exciting sporting events anywhere.  Schedule the semifinal matches on Saturday (imagine Walker v Cruz and Florida v Florida JV) and the winner-take-all contest on Monday evening prime time.

I am excited about the circus coming to America’s air waves tonight, courtesy of fair and balanced.  For sheer entertainment value and pure political theater, I expect the show to top the charts.