Barajas Keeps His Day Job (Because he has to)

By Oscar Barajas

Recently, I became a victim of the economy and its whims and became underemployed but with health benefits. So the quick fix was to interview for a position I was well acquainted with – working with children in an environment conducive to learning. I received a solitary callback from a program I was not well acquainted with so I jotted down the address and dressed in my best funeral clothes.

The interview was hours away from where I stay, so I was not able to time my appearance. I arrived about ninety minutes before I was supposed to be there. The receptionist peered at me from behind her desk. The “You want it when?!?” sticker was the extent of her sense of humor. She spoke in a wry and empty tone as she smacked her pen off her glasses:

“Sir, you are here far too early. You are going to have to wait, but you cannot do that here.”

It only rains out here in Southern California about twice a year, and that day was one of those days. So I waited outside trying to avoid the rain like a Charlie Chaplin melodrama using a napkin as an umbrella.

I waited out the rain and time, and then I was ushered into an auditorium along with twenty other people. Just like everyone else, I looked at my competition and began sizing them up. The majority of them were half my age, and dressed in casual wear. The interviewers made us wait for thematic effect. There were eight interviewers that walked in like the descendants of the Great Oz. They certainly made me feel like I was applying to become one of the flying monkeys.

The interviewers informed us that we would be interviewed as a group. We were soon divided into four groups with two interviewers each. My team consisted of four young ladies, and me,  and we remained in the auditorium with two of the coordinators. They introduced themselves and we were then encouraged to introduce ourselves. I was the fourth in the row sandwiched between two ladies named Diamond and Tiarrah. The first lady was a Michigan transplant named Liz and the second person was a young lady named Debbie from Arizona. The interview was set up to be an out of the box experience. The interviewers put papers with random questions in front of us. We were then supposed to pick up a paper and answer the scenario described on the paper.

Debbie from Arizona was asked about what she would do with a child who does not respect discipline as well as what she would do to connect with children during her first week on the site. I loved her, because she answered every question with the same answer. Her plan was to tell the children that she knew where they were coming from because she lived in a bad neighborhood while she attended Arizona State – so she knew where they were coming from. However, not every neighborhood in Los Angeles is a war torn village.

Diamond and Tiarrah were asked similar questions about bullying. Their plan involved telling the students’ mommies and daddies. Diamond then went on to share a nightmare scenario about how one of her former students fell on a park sprinkler that went through the child’s neck, and she reacted by calling her mommy. I wanted to ask why she never called the paramedics. The interviewers took notes about the situation, but never asked her any follow up questions.

Liz from Michigan did not have any experience working with children, yet she was an experienced dog walker. When she was asked about what she would do if an intoxicated parent entered the school ground, she wanted the interviewer to distinguish if the parent was drunk or under the influence of some other drug. I don’t think they called Liz back.

My question dealt with a missing child and how to deal with a hysterical mother. My initial reaction was to ask if she had been drinking earlier, but I voted against it. My real answer consisted of splitting up the employees into three groups. The coordinator should be in charge of searching open classrooms and all bathrooms with the mother and assure her that her child will be found. The second team establishes a timeline to determine when the last time this child was last seen was. The third team coordinates a list of contacts of friends and family members were this particular child could have gone. When those options are exhausted then it is time to call the police.

I was trying to read my interviewers’ faces, but they buried them in their notes. I felt I was the most qualified since I was the only one who showed up with a resume. They assured me they would get back to me in a week, but it took them nearly a month. In the end, they offered me a part time job, without benefits, and a third less pay that would conflict with the job that gives me benefits. I had to turn them down and hope that Debbie can relate with me since I still live in bad neighborhood.