I’m Not Pregnant, I’m Just Voluptuous

By Christina Rodriguez

I am a 24 year-old voluptuous Latina who looks a little younger, which is to say, my body doesn’t look like the bodies “traditionally” defined as American. So depending on the style of dress I’m wearing, I can look like I’m 4 or 5 months pregnant. Add to the mix the fact that I don’t wear a ring on that special finger, and you get some very interesting reactions from other people.

While this is unfortunate for me as far as conforming to magazine models (don’t even get me started on that issue), I do love my body.
But depending on the company, people somehow feel it is okay to ask, “When are you due?” in conversation. I have answered this question in at least 5 ways, including:

1. “Oh, I’m actually not pregnant! Just carry my weight awkwardly,”
2. “I almost wish I were pregnant!”
3. “It is about that time, huh? But no, not yet!”
4. “I’m not due, but I am heavy,” and just smile broadly.
5. “I’m not.”

These last two are my favorite because they both put people in their place and elicit sincere apologies, while the first three sound like I’m apologizing for my weight. Usually an aunt or third cousin will get the more polite responses, but with strangers I let them know that they’re not dealing with someone fragile from pregnancy.

The last time this happened, I was eating pizza with a friend when the owner said, “I bet that baby’s doing flips with that pizza!” I was going to let it go, because my mouth was full and I was in a restaurant full of people, but my friend was at the counter and corrected him. His apology was, “Oh man, I’m an idiot, what do I know?!” I continued to eat my pizza happily (it was great pizza) and tried to get over it. The owner made this hard to do though, because every time he’d pass by, he’d glance over with an odd expression on his face. Nervous, apologetic, and as if he couldn’t wait for me to leave.

Unfortunately, this happens with all kinds of people. In these cases, the people were a black woman, a white man, my Mexican family. The interesting thing is that when I’ve encountered white women, I don’t get the inquiring look and a perky question. I get a pinched mouth, and an ugly face directed at my abdomen. Then, I get the same look up and down after they’ve checked my ring finger. Like they’re thinking, “Another unwed teenage Latina mother?”

I believe that all the people in this context are judging me for one thing or another, either for not having kids fast enough or for being fat, but this wordless gesture from the most privileged demographic is nastier. I’m not worth nosy questions, because they know what my background and history is, and they don’t care.

Minorities have a higher percentage of unwed mothers and unplanned pregnancies. But the fact that I’m a college educated Latina with no children and in a serious relationship for years makes me feel better. We made it without kids for this long! But maybe when the people in this country act like they care about education reforms for minorities, the number of unwed mothers will decrease and make these white women happy. Or they can just calm down and look after their own kids instead of worrying about anyone else’s.