Georgia Tries To Win Latinos Back With “Baby, Please” Letter

Georgia is just one of many states to introduce an SB 1070 copycat law and skip arm-in-arm with Arizona down the no-nonsense, iron-fisted-crackdown path as a way to deal with undocumented workers.

Recently, however, the unforeseen consequences of the official break-up has left Georgia wondering if there’s maybe the tiniest chance that the decision was a bit on the impulsive side, even shortsighted. Approximately half of Georgia’s restaurants are currently having trouble finding workers, and, similarly, $1 billion or more may be lost in rotting crops because of a shortage of farm workers in the fields. All of this despite poverty-level wages, grueling working conditions, and non-existent benefits enticing potential applicants. In fact, even the governor’s sure-fire plan to replace undocumented farm workers with convicted criminals somehow failed as many criminals simply walked off the job decrying it as too difficult.

Of course, Georgia is generally the epitome of level-headed decision making, but even the best of us are given to an occasional lapse in judgement. [In defense of the state’s reasonable nature, let’s remember that Georgia had a Confederate battle flag prominently featured on its state flag until 2001. Considering the Civil War ended in 1865, it’s clear this state does not rush wildly into major decisions.]

The following “Baby, take me back” letter was smudged with what we can only assume are tears. It was scribbled in crayon and was discovered taped to the front door, along with a mix-tape. It seems to be Georgia’s attempt at a reconciliation with undocumented workers.

Hey Baby —

You know I don’t mean the stupid things I say when I get mad, right? It’s just that I love you so much, that it drives me crazy to see you working while undocumented, you know?

You deserve only the best. You’re so special and I can see that you can’t be replaced. Believe me, I tried. I promise next time will be different though. I’ve changed. Come back and you’ll see. I even signed up for an anger management class at the local community center, and they said I need an outlet for my frustrations. I’m knitting now.

I know I’ve said this before, but I’ve seen the error of my ways and hope you can meet me half way. What we have is too special. Please, don’t let it rot like those tomatoes over there. Give me another chance and you won’t regret it.

To celebrate, we can even go to that restaurant you like, but you’ll have to bus the table…and probably cook.

Anyway – Here. I even made you a mix tape.

Always Your Peach –

Georgia

El Guapo writes the blog The Daily Refried, and is, without question, the foremost authority on all things sinvergüenza. Follow him on Facebook or Twitter @TheDailyRefried.P.S. I probably won’t repeal the law, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you to death.