Bachmann Beats Obama On Hating Immigrants

In light of the ridiculous “report cards” issued by the anti-immigrant group NumbersUSA when it comes to immigration scorecards, I figured it would be good to respond in kind. The following is a scenario just about as silly as that of NumbersUSA awarding the president an F- as his score.

What do you think a little Barack Obama’s mother would have said if he had come home one evening and said “Mom I bombed a test! I made an F-!”

“An F-? How can anyone make an F-?”

“Wait mom! Only 12 of us took the test and there was a B-, and C+ and a C-. The rest of us got Ds and Fs. As a matter of fact four of us got Fs and five got Ds.”

“Sounds like a hard test or a bad teacher!” said mom. “So, who else got an F- besides yourself?”

“Just me.”

“Just you? Do you have any clue why you would be the only one getting such a low grade? Haven’t you been doing your homework? I told you to stop playing basketball after school and pay more attention to your work. You can’t be that dumb, son.”

“Aw mom. I got the grade because it was a pop quiz on immigration that was given to those of us who were supposed to have been developing research on this topic. The teacher decided to see where we were with our research so she gave us a test that was put together by a group called NumbersUSA who are interested in trying to reform immigration by getting the government to return to pre-1996 policies, whatever those were.”

“The teacher told all of us to take home a copy of the results so our parents could see where each of us stood in relation to our classmates.”

1. Michele Bachmann B-

2. Tim Pawlenty C+

3. Herman Cain C-

4. Mitt Romney and Sarah Palin D

6. Rick Perry, Jon Huntsman, and Newt Gingrich D-

9. Rick Santorum, Gary Johnson, and Ron Paul F

12. Barack Obama F-

“Barack Obama, wait until your father comes home! I can’t believe that Michele and Sarah did better than you did. And that Herman Cain! I think he is just a teacher’s pet. By the way, I thought Newt had dropped out of school.

“And I didn’t know that Sarah had returned to class after her long family trip. And, by the way I didn’t know that Rick Perry had enrolled for this semester.

“Wait until your daddy sees these scores!”

Dr. Henry Flores is a professor of Political Science and Dean of the Graduate School at St. Mary’s University, in San Antonio, Texas.