Culture On A T-Shirt & Other Ways Latinos Assimilate
This just in: new arrivals in the U.S. are not generally welcomed with open arms. Benjamin Franklin initially opposed German immigrants, because of fears that they would not assimilate. (He used the word “swarm” to describe their ominous arrival.) Soon after, to hear many earlier settlers tell it, Irish Catholics were also going to overrun the country, only to install the Pope as king. This was predictably followed by incoming Italians in the late 19th and early 20th century, who were referred to in the press as a “herd of steerage slime.” The list goes on.
Inexplicably, despite the lack of a welcome wagon, immigrants inevitably assimilate into the dominant culture. (Can you hear the Star Spangled Banner playing oh so quietly in the background as everyone holds hands and shares a Coke?)
Of course, then as their own experiences get smaller and smaller in the rearview, the descendants of these immigrants take their rightful place as the aggressive shovelers of xenophobic sentiments. Yes, the US is very much like a college fraternity – except instead of binge drinking and humiliation, it’s just humiliation that’s on tap.
Then, mysteriously, retroacculturation looms its ugly head. As groups become acculturated, there will be some sinverguenzas who put down their lattes and hop into the cultural DeLorian in search of their roots – societal expectations of a quiet assimilation be damned. Latinos are no exception. These sinverguenzas fall into several easy-to-identify categories:
1. The T-Shirts:
Who are they?
Usually college-aged, likely a 2nd or 3rd generation suburban kid who becomes enamored with finding out about his/her roots… for about a week in the first semester.
Motivation:
To wear a Che shirt on the quad, but not in the phony way others wear it. While this culprit can’t find his/her grandparents’ homeland on a map, he/she intends to make a significant political statement… with a Rage Against the Machine t-shirt.
What they might say:
- “This diamond studded ‘Communism Rocks’ shirt was $495 at Macy’s. Isn’t it cute?”
- “We’re taking a road trip to Puerto Rico.”
2. The Militants:
Who are they?
Inherently angry. Fist-shaker. Perpetual scowler.
Motivation:
Eagerly looking for triggers to piss themselves off, they eventually find that the ethnic, racial ancestry they were estranged from is a potential goldmine.
What they might say:
- “No, stupid, it’s pronounced Brandón… it sounds kind of like Cabrón.”
- “The neighbors are bitching about the lawn again? What, they think I’m a professional landscaper? Racist a-holes can climb over the weeds and kiss my ass.”
- [to HR rep] “Where in the goddamn dress code are guayaberas and huaraches explicitly forbidden, you fascist?”
3. Street Cred Seekers:
Who are they?
Usually white collar and in desperate need of fear-inducing street cred.
Motivation:
This group watched Cops all their lives and bought into the idea that Latinos are scary, “urban” and are forever running around with their shirts off. They feel they need to reconnect with these roots in order to leverage that inherent intimidation in the boardroom, or to scare the bully in the next cubicle who stole their yogurt from the break room.
What they might say:
- “Naw man, that’s not how we collated in prison, yo.”
- “That’s not a birthmark, it’s my gang tattoo… Admittedly, yes, it does look a lot like a mole, but that’s what makes it so sinister.”
4. The Identity Seekers:
Who are they?
Grew up unaware of or isolated from their cultural ancestry (for whatever reason).
Motivation:
Seeking deeper meaning and better understanding of their own identity by reconnecting with their roots. Blah-blah-blah. Yawn. They’re usually interested in mining for depth and knowledge. Usually.
What they might say:
“First, I’m going to watch Mi Familia. Then, I’m going to eat this burrito with the mild salsa. And finally, I’m going to take a siesta. My abuelita would be proud.”
Your handsome and humble servant —
El Guapo
El Guapo writes the blog The Daily Refried, and is, without question, the foremost authority on all things sinvergüenza. Follow him on Facebook or Twitter @TheDailyRefried.
[Photos By Joseph-Siffred Duplessis; Valerie Everett, squeakymarmot, andyrob, deneyterrio]
