If You Want To Be Happy, Learn To Forgive

Question: Hi Martha, I haven’t felt good since Mother’s Day. On Facebook I read everyone’s beautiful words and poems to their mothers, but my mother has caused me a lot of emotional pain, I consider her to be a toxic mother. How can I get over this bitterness, since years have passed since she hurt me?

Answer: The power we have as adults is to decide how we live our emotions, what we want to feel, to do and to say. If your childhood was difficult you have the power to change things and smooth over the relationship with your mother if you wish.

Do not waste time on bitterness and revenge, rather than hurting her, you will hurt yourself even more. You can change the way you think about her and ask yourself: What things have in common? What was her childhood like with her mother? Am I giving her everything I wished she would have given me?

These and many other questions can help you decide to give her love and understanding, while respecting the limits you set in the relationship.

Martha Sáenz is a life coach hyponotherapist who lives in Los Angeles. Follow her on Twitter at @marthalifecoach.