I Want A House Husband

Recently I was chatting with my great aunt, who grew up in the early part of the 20th century in Monterrey, Mexico. We were talking about a friend of hers whose husband didn’t work, but took care of the kids, and I told her, “You know tía, if I could marry a man who would have the house clean, the laundry done, the children tended to and dinner ready when I got home from work, I would totally go for it.”

You should have seen her face.

Mind you, my tía is a bit old school — but at the same time — she always worked full-time while she was taking care of her son, cleaning the house, paying the bills, washing the laundry, doing the grocery shopping and all of those other things that we “traditionally associate with a wife’s work.”

The truth is, if I could make enough money to support a family, I would opt for a one-parent household — I just wouldn’t want to be the parent to stay home — at least not permanently. I don’t think this makes me any less of a woman, or that it would make my partner any less of a man. On the contrary, I really admire men who want to take a more active role raising their children, because I honestly can’t think of anything more macho than a man taking charge of his family’s welfare (especially if that means less clothes for me to wash!).

My generation grew up expecting both parents to work and perceiving a stay-at-home parent as a luxury for other people that were not us. Honestly, if I could afford such a luxury, I would go for it. Although it seems to fly in the face of “traditional” values like those of my tía — who called her friend’s husband “un flojonazo bien hecho” — I like the idea, yet, sometimes the dream is better than the reality.

I wouldn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom forever because I think I would get bored. If I were able to work part-time or freelance, I think that would be my ideal. Similarly, I can see how a house husband would feel the same way. Having worked from home for more than a year now, I understand how alone or lonely one can feel when at home all day.

So, perhaps another one of my tía’s values comes into play. “Each person has to be an equal partner,” she tells me, “se tienen que entender uno al otro.” Balance is the key, ey? You don’t say!