I Love My Alcoholic Husband, Should I Take Him Back?

Dear Martha,

I’m very sad, my husband — who I love very much — is an alcoholic. We have a two year-old daughter and this last holiday season, he became very intoxicated. I kicked him out of the house, because I couldn’t tolerate his behavior any longer.

I’m suffering a lot and I’m afraid to fall into a trap of taking him back, even though he won’t change. I come from a very dysfunctional family and I don’t want to repeat the cycle. What should I do?

— Painfully in Love

Dear Painfully in Love,

I know you’re going through a really hard time; alcoholism doesn’t just affect the alcoholic, but the entire family. If he comes back, he will continue to drink. I suggest that you two start Alcoholics Anonymous therapy for him, and Al-Anon for you.

You have to remember that, if someone is sick, their entire family will get sick. In the event that he does not want to attend, you should still consider going to the meetings, they could help you understand that this disease is progressive, degenerative and deadly.

If you come from a family where things were difficult, it’s good for you to decide not to repeat those same patterns, and more than anything, to give yourself the chance to create a safe, loving and united family.

— Martha

[Photo By Katie Tegtmeyer]

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