5 Jobs For Recently Unemployed SB1070 Sponsor Russell Pearce

Times are tough. After his recent recall in Arizona, the architect of Arizona’s SB1070, Russell Pearce, is out of work and hanging around a Home Depot east of Tempe hoping to land a landscaping job.

He brings with him many qualifications, and El Guapo, of kind heart and delectable ass, has a few suggestions for the beloved hero:

1.) Walmart Greeter

He’s old and racist. I believe Wall-Mart hires greeters exclusively on these two traits.

2.) Scat Shoveler 

He can even wear a cool shirt with the letters SS bedazzled right on the sleeve. He’ll really dig the shirt. Plus, he can goosestep with other like minded scat shovelers.

3.) Boss Hog

If they remake The Dukes of Hazzard (again), then the casting director need look no further.

4.) Porn Star

He spent his political life trying aggressively to screw a large group of people. Seems that he’d be right at home in a colorful orgy. “So, I’ll pretend to be an ICE agent and you be one of them there illegals.”

5.) Farm Worker

While it may sound like unbelievable good fortune, Pearce lost his job just as Alabama is losing billions in rotting crops due to a SB1070 copycat law that resulted in an exodus of farm workers.

Russell, you’re welcome buddy.

Your handsome and humble servant —

El Guapo

[Photo By Gage Skidmore]

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