How Do I Prevent My Sister From Becoming An Alcoholic?

Dear Martha:

I feel terrible because of recent events in my life. I’m 27 and my sister is about to turn 20. We’re both affected by the behavior of our parents, but in very different ays. They are constantly yelling and they fight pretty aggressively.

I intervene and tell them that it’s not appropriate behavior and I become upset. My sister leaves the house telling me she wants to move away, that she can no longer handle the situation at the house and she wants to escape. If it weren’t for the fact that they pay for her schooling and her truck, she would have already left.

The worst part is that when she gets back, very late, she comes back drunk, putting herself in danger, either with an accident or by getting arrested. I’m afraid to tell my parents because the problem would just get worse and they may force her to leave the house. What do I do?

— Scared For My Sister

Dear Scared For My Sister:

Often parents who live in their own selfish worlds don’t realize that they’re affecting their children to such a great extent. You as an older sister cannot do anything about your parents, just tell them to not involve you and your sister in their fights. But with your younger sister you must be very clear and explain to her the consequences of her behavior could be grave, especially because in this country you’re not allowed to drink until you’re 21.

What’s more, she needs to realize that alcohol is not an escape, but rather it’s a trap door that will result in more problems. Why don’t you seek help from Alcoholics Anonymous? Why doesn’t she talk to a counselor? What does she need to take care of herself?

Parents can be dysfunctional, but nothing justifies that she choose to be as well.