Sinvergüenza Spotlight: Fertile, Plotting (Smirking) Latinos
It’s been a week dominated by sinvergüenzas (as it usually is). The Pope tweeted for the first time (El Guapo has it on good authority he desperately tweeted to win Justin Bieber tickets from a local radio station). U.S. politicians once again revealed that most would fail a standard seventh grade civics and/or American history test (I’m looking at you, Michelle Bachmann).
The social media behemoth MySpace just sold for $35 million to, one can presume, a very wealthy and capricious meth addict. But despite these contenders, the sinvergüenza spotlight falls, as always, on the most deserving example of shamelessness. This week, that would be … fertile, plotting (smirking) Latinos.
It may be too late.
You knew there was trouble brewing when salsa surpassed ketchup as America’s favorite condiment. When small children everywhere began barking Spanish at the unsupervised dark-skinned cartoon girl on TV who wandered around with various ne’er-do-wells and thieves it was unsettling.
According to U.S. Census numbers, Latinos in the United States have crossed the 50 million mark. This might be the tipping point. This translates to 1 in 6 Americans being Latino. Perhaps even more frightening is the fact that among U.S. children 1 in 4 are Latino. In fact, the newest numbers thrown about have the majority of babies under age 2 being of color.
Rho-rho, Shaggy!
That’s right. The fog surrounding the diabolical plan has lifted and there is no doubt, what Latinos – a majority of Mexican decent – have been plotting since the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo (February, 2 1848), a treaty whose terms were dictated by the United States and resulted in the loss of 55% of Mexico’s pre-war territory. Latinos have been staging a quiet plan hellbent on reconquest, but not the traditional bloody revolution that we’re used to seeing throughout the world. Latinos are engaged in a patient revolution through procreation – a dastardly, shameless and obviously very effective plan.
Non-Latinos – if you could please stop reading here and leave the room, it’d be appreciated. Thanks.
Now that they’re gone….Wax your sinister handlebar mustaches, mi gente. Victory is ours. Proceed and turn your rattling car stereos up to the max. The final stage of Operation Reconquest begins today. The timing is perfect. So much attention is on bombing brown people overseas that we must strike now. Bring your rusty blades, chimichangas, and bands of small children.
Your handsome and humble servant,
El Guapo writes The Daily Refried, and is, without question, the foremost authority on all things sinvergüenza. Follow him on Facebook or Twitter @TheDailyRefried
